Today is..

the day that I will post 2 separate posts. One is kind of sad and the other is happy. I don't feel they should be mixed. First off the sadness:

Today is the day that my dear Nana passed away in 1992. I remember when I got the call. I couldn't cry. I felt like Anne when she had heard that Matthew had died. The ache was so terrible that I didn't cry until a few days later when I saw the family.

I miss her. Sometimes more than others. Even though she could be a crank at times (like all of us have been at one time or another), she still made me laugh and I always felt loved. I was happy that she at least got to hold my daughter once before she was gone.

I am proud to have her name and keep her memory alive in my heart. One of the best memories I have is not of the hospital where she sat up with all the tubes in her to yell at my aunt, although that was funny and just like her.

No, my favorite is when I would stay at her house on the weekend and we would walk to Jack In The Box, then I would ride on the horses. Then we would come back to watch Elvira and Kung Fu Theater on KHJ, channel 9.

It was a strange magic that existed there. I know it now. I wish I could take Jack to that marvelous house. I wonder what ever happened to it afterwards. I have never asked for fear it would be too painful.

But today is her day. I love you so much.