I thought it would be funny to send this person a zombie survival kit. (On the cheap side, of course)
Here is a copy of the letter I am including in the box so the recipient will understand just what the heck this box is full of.
IMPORTANT:IMPORTANT:IMPORTANT
Dear citizen ________________, we have been informed that a zombie uprising has been reported in your vicinity.
We are sending these kits to all persons in your area in hopes that you haven't become infected by this epidemic.
If you have received this package too late, we do apologize and the correct officials will be contacting you shortly.
Inside this package you should have these items as follows:
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A set of 3 training films to help you recognize what a zombie is and the best methods to destroy it.
A gun with ammo to protect yourself from attacks.
A flashlight with extra batteries so that you can avoid stepping on any zombie carcasses.
A bottle of hand sanitizer to help keep your skin clean from any contaminants.
(Note: we have discovered the picture on the bottle is one of the suspected leaders of this outbreak. Please approach this individual with extreme caution.)
An energy drink to help you stay sharp and awake so that you don't drop your guard for wandering zombies.
We have also included a small personal hygiene kit that was donated by a local hotel.
(Good health should not suffer in chaos.)
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Please be safe and God be with you.
Thank you for your cooperation.
This message and package contents have been inspected and approved by Z.O.M.B.I.E.
-Zamora Official Mobilization Board International Enterprises-
Your local representative,
Little Doll Claudia _________________________
IMPORTANT:IMPORTANT:IMPORTANT
Here's what the stuff looks like:
Yeah, it's cheesy but funny. I even decorated the outside of the box. Hopefully the post office will see the humor and allow me to send it.
1 comment:
I LOVE YOUR CREATIVE SPIRIT. THE IDEA WAS GREAT, AND THE EXECUTION WAS SPECTACULAR. I'M SURE THE RECIPIENT WILL LOL AND SHOW ALL THEIR FRIENDS. WAY TO GO RUTHIE!
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