I've moved to a whole new universe!

So I've kind of moved away from here and gone onto Tumblr. Oh well. But if anyone is interested, you can follow me at: www.tumblr.com/blog/ltldollclaudia I actually post there a LOT and upload all the crazy stuff I've been building. Curious? Go check it out.

My midlife crisis

Well, turns out that apparently the insurance needs us to pay them an almost $2000 deductible before I can go get my medical issues taken care of. ~sigh~ So while I'm waiting for my surgery, I decided that since I cannot go back to work until it gets done, I was going to make a drastic change. To my hair, that is. I figure that it'll grow back and I can re-color it once I am all fixed. Here's what it used to look like:

And here's how I look now.

So there it is. It's rough for Jack and I to try to get all that money together seeing as he is on disability and I'm on unemployment. I really don't know how we're going to do it. I do my best to stay positive and not let Jack see me upset. He doesn't need that. And time is marching on. My benefits won't last forever and it scares the hell out of me. The longer it takes for me to get my surgery, the sicker I get. And I hide a lot of how I'm feeling from my loving husband. It's a vicious cycle that can only be fixed with the surgery that I have no money for. You see my dilemma? Arrgh. Until next time...

I really need to not leave this by the wayside...

So much has happened...but I'll just give a quick summation for this post.

We moved into a house, Jack is now on disability and I'm on unemployment.

But it's a good thing. We have professionals interested in the show, so soon we won't have money issues anymore. Well, Goddess willing, anyway.

I unfortunately have no insurance, so my surgery never happened. ~sigh~

I am going to keep my head up and stay positive though.

I have to.

I will post more soon.

Until next time...

It continues on.

So after a very interesting doc visit, I am on yet again a new drug regimen.

The gyn I saw is a specialist and his opinion is that I have Interstital Cystisis, also known as IC. He is concerned about the other stuff as well, but he's thinking my
pain is from IC as my bladder is somewhat weak and very tender.

So now I'm on meds for that as well as estrogen since the DEPO shot is causing me to be ultra moody.

I do have another appt on July 6th. They are going to check just what is going on with my bladder and such.

After that, then I get my surgery. Exploratory, as it is. This doc doesn't want to just slice in until he has all the facts and if the meds can help me, great.

Yeah, I know. I didn't have PID, so that trial was useless.

~sighs~

I'm just tired of hurting all the time and not being able to do what I want to do, like relax and not stress about where's the nearest bathroom. Or geez, actually be intimate with my husband without crying afterwards from the pain.

I'm trying to be so patient.

I really am.

Oy.

Until next time...

It's that time of year again!!!!

Haunt 2011 mazes have been announced! And the 3 new entries are...

Delirium
In the deep recesses of the mind, on the clouded brink of insanity, lies the hellish wasteland of delirium; a place so gruesome that your imagination fails to comprehend the horrors. Illusion and paranoia are your only anchors to reality. Welcome to your worst nightmare!

Invasion Beneath
LIVE FROM KNOTT’S BERRY FARM: Details are sketchy but eyewitnesses report that the Calico Mine Ride has been invaded by creatures of unknown origin through a large fissure in the earth’s core. The creatures posses advanced weaponry and are extremely hostile. The military has just infiltrated the mountain to try and rescue the survivors and combat the violent attacks. Stay tuned.

ENDGAMES: Warriors of the Apocalypse
The world as we know it has ended. The survivors in this barren desert have scavenged to rebuild society. The rich and the powerful have turned all others into slaves for sport. Enter the post apocalyptic arena where gladiators are forced to battle to their deaths for entertainment. Are you game?

RETURNING MAZES

Fallout Shelter (in 3D)
Locked in a cement grave for decades, hidden deep below the depths of the lake, an abandoned fallout shelter is crawling with human /genetic hybrids, toxic mutants, and a host of nuclear freaks all hungry for carnage. Grab your Geiger counters and put on your radiation suits, these residents are ravenous.

Sleepy Hollow
Ghosts and ghouls, witches and goblins, long legged beasts and things that go bump in the night are all at your heels as you travel through Sleepy Hollow. Specters and phantoms and legends of long ago haunt the living. Can you outrun the Headless Horseman? Can you keep your wits, or will you lose your head as well?

Virus Z
Welcome to Pleasanton – Population: Zero. The highly infectious virus Z has turned the entire town into cannibal zombies and you’re this week’s special. Hordes of bloodthirsty corpses roam the small town in search of fresh meat. Help has arrived, but they are not on a rescue mission – they are here to wall off the entire town from civilization.

Lockdown: The Asylum
The inmates really are running the asylum in this nightmare prison, and insanity reigns supreme. The inmates are out of their cells and their minds. And don’t scream for help, this hostile takeover has the authorities running for cover!

Terror of London
Step back in time and into the fog-filled streets of London where a host of infamous characters are on the prowl terrorizing city dwellers. Step lively or you may fall victim to Jack the Ripper’s blade or Dr. Jekyll’s twisted experiments as Big Ben rings out. God save the Queen…..and you!

Dia De Los Muertos
Venture into the forbidden jungle of El Chupacabra where sacrificial blood rains down from the sky. The screams of La Llorona, the Weeping Woman, echo around you and the creatures of the night crawl from their crypts, the “Day of the Dead” has arrived!

Uncle Bobo’s Big Top of the Bizarre (3D)
Step right up! Don’t be shy! Welcome to Uncle Bobo’s Big Top of the Bizarre. Inside you will find a villainous variety of vaudevillian visages to vex even the most valiant voyeurs! It’s the greatest slaughter on earth with clown carnage galore!

The Slaughterhouse
Folk’s from near and far come a-runnin for Farmer Willy’s world famous BBQ! You can smell the sizzling meat from miles away. Farmer Willy will think you are prime
beef as he sets out to auction you off to the highest bidder, tenderize you with his chainsaw, and grind you into a tasty meat treat. Bon Appétit!

The Doll Factory
A trip to the Doll Factory reveals a twisted museum of death and disfigurement as you are pursued by the Marionette Murderer, a psychotic killer who turns his beautiful victims into life-size porcelain dolls.

Corn Stalkers
It’s harvest time and the crop is you in Corn Stalkers. Plunge into rows and rows of rotting corn and try to evade the blood thirsty monstrosities seeking to impale you on their razor sharp scythes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These of course replace Club Blood, Black Widow Cavern and Labyrinth.

Now my personal opinion is well, like usual. First for the departing mazes.

Club Blood for me was never really a vampy maze although this last year it did improve a HELL of a lot. I for one won't miss it, even though it does mean this year will be the first year in a long time there will not be a vampire maze at Haunt.

Black Widow Cavern I did enjoy, of course. But as I said a few years back, there's only so much you can do with spiders. I'll miss it a bit. A moment of silence for that, please.

And Labyrinth. Huh. ~sighs~ Oh, it was pretty and the talent divine. But mazes are supposed to be scary, and sadly this missed the mark. So no real sadness for this one either.

But on to my predictions for this year.

Does anyone but me notice an odd theme here? Apocalypse and such? Hmmm, says I.

Because correct me if I'm wrong and I might be, the 3 new ones seem to be slight variations of each other.

Delirium: This could be a grand throwback to the Asylum theme, which I course loved. But they still have Lockdown AND Fallout Shelter, both of which feed on claustrophobia and darkness. Not that I'm complaining, but it will interesting to see just how they make this work.

Invasion Beneath: (Mine Train) Ah now, this could be rather interesting. Although the mention of weaponry makes me wonder if it'll be a re-imagined version of The Underground. Which was a fantastic maze, but on the Mine Train? Hmmm, that may be a tad reaching. The reason Underground worked was you were trapped in this industrial holocaustic aftermath that you stumbled through. Being in a mine car will definitely need some real good scares.

Endgames: Oh boy. I just...wow. To me, this sounds like a cross between Mad Max and The Running Man. It'll be a fun maze. Yeah. Fun. Not scary. Guys dressed up in scraps of metal and carrying various items of destruction are great for me to laugh at, not scream. But who knows?

So there we are. I am excited for the other returning mazes. My only requests are that Cornstalkers gets back to its former glory of spookiness, that Lockdown has more creeps in it, The Doll Factory gets their dollies in tip top scare mode, and that Slaughterhouse brings back the gore it knew so well in the first year.

Everything else was damn incredible.

I cannot wait for October. How about you?

Until next time....

Well, yeah. That's just fun.

So...update.

I had my ultrasound.

Turns out I have a veritable amusement park going on. I have several cysts on my ovaries and fallopian tubes, I have a fibrous mass on my uterus and the possible beginnings of endometriosis. Yay.

Not only that, but it does seem I do have PID, so I am on new meds for that. Once I finish the meds, then the doc will let me know when my surgery will be.

~sighs~

Also, I had the misfortune of being suspended for 3 days due to my medical issue. Thankfully, the GM read over my file and reinstated me.

I am kind of on a probation thing now, I guess.

Then I got sick from my lovely husband. I only got a cold, but his became bronchitis. Whoohoo. Not only did he get me sick, but everyone else in the apt got some kind of ickiness.

So my immune system is all screwy.

Oh well.

I do have a dr appt on Wed at 10:30am, so hopefully he will let me know what our next step will be.

Because man, I'm tired of feeling like this.

Until next time....

And here's how it goes. (sensitive subject matter ahead)

So now that I am on NO meds whatsoever, the pain is back in triplicate. It really is annoying to have this constant pressure and feel like I have to go to the bathroom all the time.

I have been taking ibuprofen, but its relief is limited and I really don't want to boost up the dosage to then become immune.

And for the TMIness of it all, I still have not been able to be intimate with my husband for over a month now. Oh, sure we "relieve his tension", but as far as myself? Oh hell no.

Even though I'm going insane with need. Because EVERYTHING freakin' hurts.

Part of me just wants to say hell with it and have sex. Even though I'll be screaming in pain afterwards.

But I'm afraid that it will worsen whatever is going on.

I truly hope the ultrasound can give us all some clues. And the gyn. I was thinking about asking for a D & C so they can test the tissue. Yeah, it's not typical procedure, but dammit. At this point, I just want some real answers.

I went to go see Keith today and I had to explain in the simplest of terms what was going on with me. He knew I had a dr appt and he was concerned about me. That was difficult as how do you tell someone that believes you to be invincible and immortal that you're in fact not?

I think I succeeded though.

I'm trying my best not to be stressed, but I guess it won't make a damn bit of a difference until after my 2 latest appts.

I do hope it's not serious, but at the same time I do, because then whatever I have will be dealt with and I can finally move on to have NO pain.

At least not in that fashion.

Ergh. I'm way too tired right now. I feel myself getting all morose.

And we can't have that.

So it's off of here and focus on going home to see my husband, my cats, and my bed for some much needed sleep.

Night all.